Is this for me? If you were sexually abused as a child, and are starting to come to terms with this as an adult, then yes! You may remember specific incidences of abuse for the first time once you reach adulthood. Maybe you’ve always been aware that the abuse happened, or maybe you are only now starting to remember or to realize that it was abusive. Either way, once you start the journey of recovery, new details are likely to emerge that can be tremendously upsetting. Memories often come in the form of flashbacks, which are basically like (re)living the abuse in the present.
This was so long ago - can’t I just get over it? There’s no way out except through. Despite what well-meaning folks might say to you, it’s not possible to “just get over it”. It just isn't that simple. There comes a point at which, for adults who dissociated – spaced out – during traumatic abuse as children, the blocked memories push forward and demand attention.
Why make the effort to heal? Only you can fully answer this question for yourself. For many, the answer includes 1. Because you’ve suffered enough and you have a right to happiness and wholeness; 2. Because you want to improve your physical health 3. Because you want to provide your children with a better life than what you experienced; 4. Because the impulse to work through this is greater than your ability to bury it any longer.
How will this guide help? There are a lot of resources out there if you look for them. Part of the problem is knowing what to look for, and guessing what might be most helpful. Ten Keys provides a clear and simple framework for doing the work of healing.
Why Ten Keys? Being sexually abused as a child is a violation of many different boundaries: physical and mental, body and mind, personal and interpersonal. It affects how we see ourselves and how we see and interact with the world. Each of the Ten Keys addresses a vital aspect of healing from this complex violation.
It’s shorter than other guides. Why? Many guides will go on for hundreds of pages about just one or two of these ten elements. That’s fine – and some are really helpful, but it’s also important to know when you’re reading something that’s only a part of the puzzle. This guide is not meant to replace all other resources and support, but instead provide context and continuity – a big picture view of what healing looks like.